Holy Cow I just stumbled across this old blog I tried to start. It has been a lot of years and lot has changed. I moved out of the house, into an apartment with my kids, I competed in two body building competitions, I lost my dad, I fell in love and got my heart broken ( a couple of times) I moved again.... and again. My first baby graduated, I changed jobs like 400 times, my middle baby was diagnosed with Type1 Diabetes, my youngest took up cello, I fell in love with the most amazing human, I went back to school and graduated with honors, I've been super happy and super depressed. It's been a wild ride.
So it's 2020 and of course we all have goals and things we want to work on and changes we would like to make. Looking back on 2019 and listing out all of the things that were amazing and the things that challenged me. Someone asked me the other day "what do you want to do?" That's the questions isn't it? I want to do everything! I want to be a chiropractor, a physical therapist, a nurse, a hair dresser, a massage therapist, personal trainer, successful, beautiful, fit, healthy, teacher, realtor, coffee shop owner, bartender, life coach, organized, a better mom...... just everything. Currently I am working on being a personal trainer and bartender. I'm working on getting back to eating healthy, and getting back to the gym for me.
It's crazy to think back to 2016 when I was so focused on what I wanted.. nothing was going to get in my way. I was focused, disciplined, consistent, and a force to be reckoned with. I left my girls dad, I overcame obstacles I didn't think I was strong enough to tackle. Even though I feel like I am stronger now, I struggle more. WHY!? After a lot of reflecting and searching I think it's because I'm happy now. I love being in my home. I used the gym to escape my life before. I thin kit was easy to walk out of the house and into the gym where I was in control. My kids were at home and I didn't think they noticed I was gone. I would wait until they went to bed and I would go to the gym late at night. I focused on what I was eating and when I saw my body start to transform it made me even stronger.
Currently I am personal training, coaching, and bartending. I have a ton of time in my schedule and I WORK IN A GYM..... so why do I feel like it's hard to get in the gym and work out? Let's really dissect this... I wake up in the morning and mess around until it's too late to go train, then after work I say "I need to see my kids" I have ALL of the excuses. I want to work out why this seems to be such a struggle.... because it's a struggle for my clients too! How can I coach people to be consistent and eat healthy when I struggle with it?
So my biggest goal of 2020 is to be consistent. Get into the gym and work hard. Show the people I want to train that I know the struggle and I know how hard it is... but if I can do it so can they! I weighed myself yesterday morning and I am the heaviest I've been in my life (without being pregnant) I've gone past the point of "balance" to tipping the scales to unhealthy. It's the time of year to jump back on board. Anyone else?
