Friday, February 12, 2010

Stupid questions

So last night Uptown and I were hanging out in the living room, I in my sweatpants and workout tank.. looking uber hot! So you know how sometimes you say something without even thinking? Like in the beginning of a new relationship you might blurt out "I love you" and you see that look of fear pass across the other person's face. That moment of "Holy crap.. what do I do? Do I lie and tell her what she wants to hear? Do I just ignore the fact that she just said that?" Sometimes we don't even realize it was a stupid thing to say until after the fact. Well last night I was telling Uptown that I needed to do my work out and he should find something else to do. I blurted out... so can you tell a difference? Can you tell I have lost weight? I saw the look. I watched it cross his face. It was agonizing! I knew in that moment he does not see a difference at all. I have been working out and sweating my ass off (or so I thought) and not eating all the foods I love (Hi Cake! I'm looking at you) in order to try to transform my body into this lithe strong sexy body. Apparently there is still a lot of thunder in my thighs, and loads of junk.. well you know where. Uptwon , being the sweet sensitive being that he is immediately noticed that I was horrified and said that he could see that my arms look great, and my stomach is getting tighter.. then he smiles.. as if that beautiful smile and those twinkling eyes could make me forget my jiggly ass. Sadly they couldn't. All I could think of was maybe I should step up my workouts to two a day, eat less, lift more weight. It has been FIVE WEEKS!!!!!!!!! I tossed and turned and it irritated me all night long. I woke up this morning and thought, "I'll stick to my nutrition plan, and I'll double my workouts when I have the energy." Maybe I'll take it easier on my off days. Lift more weights.. stick to the plan.. stick to the plan....
I am feeling a bit crushed.
more motivated and crushed.


  1. Honestly? I can see the difference in your photos. Keep on keepin' on. Just follow the plan; don't get more extreme!

  2. Thanks Lauren! I finally took some measurements and there is a difference. No way more extreme.. I don't have time.. lol